Friday, June 22, 2007

Breaking news

If toilets make you squeamish (make you squeam?) you should not read further. I'll put in a few blank lines so you can make your escape safely.

About 10 minutes ago, I was nursing Z. (round 2 of the morning--think someone's a little needy?) when A. came down from her shower to tell me about a toilet in distress. Was there any technique I could advise (I do most of the toilet plunging, which is unfortunately often the necessary final step in our poop-disposal process.) No, I said, we don't have a snake, all you can do is plunge. She returned to the third floor and reported that the water seemed to be rising still. I told her that if the tank wasn't making noise there was no more water going into the bowl--sound plumbing principle, no?

Z. and I heard a flood upstairs. Then we heard a rush of water coming through the ceiling onto the second floor hall. Then every single smoke alarm in the house went off, in every room on every floor, because we comply with code here, baby.

What can you do but laugh?

A. lay down towels in the hallways and I put more down in the bathroom until we ran out and I had to resort to an old flannel sheet. A. disconnected the alarms downstairs, I did the ones upstairs. The one in the direct path of the flood gave her a shock so we left it to howling, but there's nothing to make you appreciate the dulcet tones of one alarm like turning off nine others.

Now she is bailing and I am supervising Z. as she tears up old wrapping paper--oops, now she's hiding under the quilt--and all this before breakfast.

* * * * *

We have to go get a rental car pretty soon because we realized that both A. and I were assuming we'd have the car this weekend--A. has to get herself to the Berkshires, and I have to haul Z. to about three different suburbs for wedding festivities here.

The bride for my wedding sent out an open-cc'd email to her guest list, which was useful because now I won't be surprised to see the old flame who'll be around this weekend. It wouldn't be anything more than surprise if I weren't prepared: she's a nice old flame, and it was a healing fling that we had. I don't think I would have been able to connect with A. without it. I also have no excuse not to have anticipated her presence. She and this weekend's bride actually made our chuppah, which was the occasion at which this weekend's bride met this weekend's groom, so of course she'll be here.

Just too buried in my own head, I guess.


niobe said...

Overflowing toilets and old flames: I'm not sure which is more unpleasant to deal with. Though you seem to be handling both remarkably well.

Phantom Scribbler said...

I guess it's Roto Rooter week all over, huh? So sorry that it's hit Chez Javelin, too.

Lo said...

I don't get why an overflowing toilet would make smoke detectors go off.

Our smoke detectors in our old apartment (and I think we probably had about nine of them, too, and you've *seen* our old apartment) went off whenever we dared to, say, cook. But why water?

S. said...

Niobe, as pieces of my dating history go, this episode was pretty benign and generous. She had actually told me she wanted to see me get together with A. before she and I got together. And she has the courtesy to live on another coast, so I don't have to deal with her too often.

Phantom, thanks for the sympathy. Mostly, I'm annoyed that I have to put all the smoke detectors back.

Lo, the water mostly exited the ceiling via the opening for the hallway smoke alarm. Apparently that triggered the entire system. I hope they won't start going off again when I reinstall--but I'm waiting until after Z.'s nap to be on the safe side.

jo(e) said...

Oh, we've had the overflowing toilet scene at my house several times over the years. We tend to have way more swearing and screaming than laughing, I'm afraid. And yeah, the damned smoke detectors always go off during it. Fun times.

Magpie said...

Sorry about the plumbing disaster - any lasting damage? I hope not. My husband was of the opinion that I don't know how to flush the toilet, or that my, um, stuff is too strange to flush properly. Then he went and replaced the guts of both toilets. And now they flush delightfully! It was the toilets! Not me!

Have fun at the wedding - the old flame business doesn't sound too bad, in this case.

(un)relaxeddad said...

I think, on balance, I'd go for the toilet over the old flame. Not an experience I've had since my old band played a show a long time ago and by some bizarre confluence of fate I had two exes and my partner in the audience.

The Goldfish said...

There's nothing like a disaster involving a toilet for making one appreciate having one which is fully functional. When I read about the smoke alarms going off, I must say my first thought was, "What had she been eating?"

Hope you enjoy/ have enjoyed the wedding.

S. said...

Wow, who knew toilet disasters would prove so popular?

(Un)relaxeddad, just reading about that situation made me want to flee the room on your behalf!

Goldfish: wow, no, nothing so, ummm, culinarily outre 'round here. Though that is a thought for the ages.